Saturday, August 29, 2009
Sticker Backfire
The conversation then evolved to me having to categorise his "helper" work so that he clearly understood what it takes to earn a new sticker. Earlier he also said to me that he knew where the stickers are kept, implying that getting a sticker was a simple as fetching it in the draw under the microwave, perfectly logical.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
The Guilt
Immediately I felt guilty. We made up and he later went to bed with a smile on his face. However, the guilt lingered for a little while longer.
When he threw the sand in my face he was laughing. This was fun to him. I later had a much lighter conversation with him about his bad behaviour. He now (mostly) understands that this kind of behaviour is associated with being rude.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Brown sugar vs. white sugar
What's better? what's more nutritional? brown or white sugar? Actually, neither is. Brown is fractionally better than white. Brown sugar is often referred to as "natural" or "raw" sugar giving most people I know the impression that using brown sugar makes consuming sugar OK. This is mostly incorrect. The major difference between white and brown is that brown sugar contains molasses. To be frank, a child does not care whether sugar is brown or white, as long as its sugar. The younger they are the more susceptible they are to bouncing off the walls when they're high on sugar. It's up to us as parents to ensure that we give our children a good start to life but teaching them healthy fundamentals in terms of schooling, nutrition, etiquette, manners, moralilty, dress-code and all other habits. Nutrition, like taking a morning shower, is a habit, good or bad. Research the alternatives.
BTW: The same principle described above applies to low fat milk vs. full cream milk, i.e. the difference is insignificant. Check the carton labels to compare the fat contents of the two options the next time you visit the supermarket.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Before our children
At dinner parties we used to share stories of our cats with our friends. Now we share stories about our kids. I remember being quite annoyed with my friends who had kids (before we had our own). We could never have a decent conversation without at least one of the two parents running after a child that's either crying or up to mischief or both. This is my reality today, i.e. I'm one of those parents who keeps a watchful eye over his pride. Ask any parent what it's like to lose sight of their child for just 20 seconds in a crowded shopping centre. It's hell.
Joy is...
having fun together
(as well as alone) in
the garden with
my wifey and boys.
Joy is...
a winter's Saturday morning when
there's no rush for work or
school.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Making time to build friendship(s)
Not sure about you, but my life is quite busy. There's work time, family time, father-son time x 2, husband-wife time, me time, social time and more. I'ts challenging to maintain solid friendships amidst all the happenings. A friend of mine recently said that it's been his experience that his colleagues and clients tend to become his friends. The same's happened to me. It's almost like twitter, but on a smaller scale ito connections and on a larger scale in terms of relationship depth.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Fast & Furious
We rented the latest Fast & Furious from the neighbourhood video store the past weekend. The movie was super entertaining (if you like fast cars and retro car design). For me, it was less about the movie and more about me enjoining the experience with my eldest son, sitting at the edge of his seat.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
17 Again...
This movie has Zack Efron and Matthew Perry as co-stars. It's about a guy whose life choices leads him to an unhappy place involving a divorce, getting fired and having two teenagers that wanted nothing to do with him. So his "spirit guide" magically makes him 17 again, but 17 today, not 17 back in time, lovely twist. This article is less of a traditional movie review. This is about what I took away from watching it. It was about appreciation and connection. It was about making an effort and not blaming others for your choices. It was about acceptance and about doing what it takes as a dad to help your family harness their potential.
Why build a neighbourhood?
I live in a cul de sac in Cape Town. Today, I met one of my neighbours for the first time. He's been living in our street for the past 2.5 years. I've been living here for eight years now. So let me bring your attention to the present moment. Our world is in crisis, economic crisis, climatic crisis, disease, poverty, war, etc. Whats gone wrong? How did we get here? How did we get so far off course as a collective?
Global harmony starts with harmony at home. The foundation of the community is built at home. Yes, I'm aware that the Internet is vast and that much has been written on this subject. The views expressed on my blog are my views as a result of my direct experience with the subject. Consider my input as one of many millions of opnions on the subject matter. I'd be curious to hear whether or not your experience in any way parallel's mine.
I grew up in a community where the kids played outside until late at night, unharmed. We roamed free. We felt safe. A community in which my kid was protected by the rest of the community, where my kid was your kid. It seems those days have passed. Children don't play on their own in the streets anymore, not for long periods. I now live in a world where people mostly do not know their neighbours, often never having met them before. Surely there's something odd about this picture?
Action for today: I choose to take back my neighbourhood, one neighbour at a time.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Friday, August 14, 2009
Joy is...
my eldest son (3.5 years old) asking me to
snuggle with him when
he's tired and
ready for bed.
The effect of Comprise
The Oxford dictionary defines compromise as "an agreement reached by each side making concessions". Compromising by giving up some of my social and/or work activities so that my partner can attend to something that she regards as being more of a priority is not easy. It may (has in the past) induce resentment within me, with resentment being equated to the process of drinking poison hoping the other will die. It did, however, make it easier to accept the situation when I came to realise that, in the grander scheme of things, the end result was worth it. In the end we choose whether or not we would like to work together to build a great future for ourselves and our children. This is done through our actions, through my actions.
The effect of Comprising for the sake of the other may (has in my case) facilitate a healthier relationship. Also think about this ito being a living example to (y)our children by demonstrating a healthy behavioural pattern.
I'm in no way suggesting that one should live for the other. Instead, I'm suggesting that it's healthy to invest some effort in attaining a balance between all that is me and all that is us.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Making "me time"
As a young dad I cannot stress how challenging yet vitally important it is to build in some "me time" into your life. I know that it's difficult to achieve and then maintain a healthy balance. More of one thing means less of another. However, don't let me stop you! "Me time" to me is about rejuvenation. It's about doing whatever I choose to do. It's not about impressing another. It's about enjoyment. It's about absorption."Me time" for me is updating my blog, playing my PS3 after everyone's gone to bed, having a long hot shower, driving my car with no passengers while listening to whatever music suits my mood at that moment and it's also watching a good sci-fi movie. I'd also like to squeeze in a regular cardio-vascular exercise program but can't seem to find the time between my work, social and family commitments. More experienced parents have told me not to stress about it since it gets easier as your children get older. I'll keep you posted on whether this holds true for my situation.
They all say the same thing, i.e. enjoy the time with your children when they still want to be in your company all the time, when you are the centre of the universe to them. Make the most of the time together because, before you know it, it's come and gone.
Check-list for dressing your toddler
These are the basics I do with my boy while getting him ready for pre-school in the morning:1. Give him cereal before dressing him since there is a high probability that he will mess while eating his cereal (3.5 years old)
2. Wash his face
3. Brush his teeth
4. Brush his hair
5. Help him take off his pyjamas
6. Dress him (undies, socks, pants/shorts, shirt and jersey if cold outside)
7. Put on his shoes
8. Pack him a lunch (if there's time)
9. Give him a Gumi-Vite (a multi-vitamin for young children)
Obviously, if there's time, I allow him to explore doing the tasks above on his own. In fact, he usually insists on doing it himself. Usually, he likes to squeeze in a game or two, like running off with his socks and expecting me to chase him or jumping on the bed and asking me to join in. We also use a sticker system where he gets a sticker if he co-operates in the morning. When the sticker-count gets to 10 then there's a reward in it for him.
If you like me and your time in the morning is SUPA limited then it helps to take out his clothing the evening before.
PS: The sticker-system works equally well with helping him keep his room tidy and encouraging him to sleep in his own bed.
Joy is...
arriving at my boy's school to fetch him, then scanning the playground for him, then our eyes meeting, then him realizing that he's daddy's arrived to take him home, then his smile :-))
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Teaching children by our example
Each day, whether we are aware of it or not, we teach our children through our actions/interactions. We teach through modelling our behaviour to them that they then copy. Monkey see monkey do. This behaviour is both the desirable and the not so desirable, the good and the ugly. From nose-picking, to the use of slang, swear-words, to addictions, to our use of syntax, eating habits, love of certain TV and music genres, interpersonal skills (or not), sleeping habits, general mood, emotional maturity, and so on and so on. The list is endless. We are presented with a near-blank slate and give it our best, our worst and our "in between". Question to the parents is, what is it that we are teaching our children? What are we perpetuating? Is it healthy for our children? What kind of a future are we co-creating today for the coming generations? Does all of this matter? What kind of a future would we like to co-create? Is it worth getting more actively involved? I don't know, you tell me.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
A glimpse into our children's education future
Lyrics to Baz Luhrmann's "Sunscreen" song
Video time: 5 minutes
Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99 If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience…I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you imagine.
Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing everyday that scares you
Sing
Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss
Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.
Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.
Get plenty of calcium.
Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.
Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own..
Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.
Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.
Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.
Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen…
Joy is...
discussing interesting things about strange-looking fish with my 3.5 year old boy while visiting the oceanarium together.
Interview with a 19yr old thumb-typing expert
Would you say its fair to refer to you as knowing what you want from life? "No. You also can't tell me what I want because I don't even know." But with every topic you have a clear answer. "I might have a straight answer but tomorrow my mood could change and my answer could change. Therefore, I am my worst enemy, lol." She confessed to having a short attention span and being good at multi-tasking. She prefers reading short bursts of information such as the short status lines in Facebook and abbreviated mobile text messages. However, she responded by saying that "I have very bad memory skills. I'm always so busy doing something (like having a verbal as well as mobile-based text conversation at the same time), it's almost like its a blur". She also mentioned that sometimes she forgets who said what.
This, ladies and gentlemen, is our next generation, the next link to eternity.
Joy is...
eating a sweet snack (chocolate, candy, crisps, etc.) and my son coming up to me and saying: "daddy, Barney says sharing is caring"
Bum rash from antibiotics
Our 19-month old boy was recently diagnosed with tonsillitis after a day of constant screaming. The doctor prescribed a course of antibiotics. For the past week we've been giving our little boy two doses of antibiotics per day. Since yesterday he's developed a severe bum rash as a result of his poo burning his ass. The problem is that it's NOT easy to pick up that he's made a poo given that the antibiotics has caused his poo to be odourless, thus compounding the problem. We are now onto a bum ointment (contains Nystatin) and this has helped with easing the pain post nappy changes. Above and beyond the cream/ointment, change your baby's nappy as often as possible for a speedier recovery:
1. as this will keep the wounded area drier thus encouraging the healing action of the cream, and
2. since the poo is relatively odourless you are ensured of reducing the burn impact on your baby's bum and thus aiding quicker recovery.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Joy is...
playing Mario Kart on our Wii game with my eldest son (3.5 years old). His favourite race track? Coconut Mall. When it's bed time and we're still playing then he attempts to manipulate me by asking: "one more, please daddy?"
Grooming 101
If you fortunate enough to be married then it's really healthy for the relationship that you, as the daddy, ACTIVELY participate in your boy(s) grooming. And by grooming I mean the bathing, dressing, undressing, toilet training, nappy-changing, tooth-brushing, ear-cleaning, nail clipping (including the toes), hair brushing, etc. This is about you adding a daddy's touch. And, in my case, your wife will probably complain less and you'll probably get more booty as well :-)
Also, try to enjoy the experience, slow it down. Try not to think about work or anything else. Be present. Don't think. Just be. Just appreciate the fleeting moment presented to you.
A child's immune system is fully developed at 5 years of age. This means that children under the age of 5 are more susceptible to illness. This, in turn, means that, on cooler days, it's best to dress you kid slightly warmer, especially for the morning trip to school.
It's easy to overdress your kid, i.e. they can overheat and this makes for an uncomfortable experience for them, resulting in a grumpy kid. And you know what a grumpy kid is like. So, place your finger behind you child's neck in the space between the base of the head and the base of the neck, on the inside of the clothing item's collar. If it's hot then start undressing your child.
Joy is...
receiving a self-wrapped gift from my 3.5 year-old son (usually one of his toy cars wrapped in a face-cloth, towel or other container). He says: "daddy, I brought you a gift". My reaction: "THANK-YOU!"
Joy is...
pushing my boy (1.8 mths old) while lying on his tummy on his older brother's skateboard. His reaction? "weeeeeeee!!!"
Huh?
Today is the start of a long weekend in South Africa. Yesterday our eldest, Reef (3.5 years old) , was given homework for the first time.His assignment is to document his weekend through a collection of drawings. Offcourse, we will need to help him. Last night Reef decided to unpack his school bag himself. So this morning my wife attempted to ask Reef where he had put his homework book (so that he could start his drawing exercise). So, my wife asked, "Reef, remember you packed your bag away last night and you ...?" Her question eventually ended 1 minute later. Reef's response: "huh?". And its starts all over again.
The fussy eater
About 95% of toddlers are fussy eaters, even the kids that visit your kids at home, the ones who appear to be 100% perfectly behaved, the ones who eat their vegetables at your place (only). Both our boys fall within this 95% community. Both would rather eat refined sugar all day long, show me a kid that wouldn't. It's been said that the eating habits they develop as toddlers often carry through into adulthood. The first question I'm asked when I fetch our eldest from school is "daddy can I have a sweetie?". This is the same kid that will eat the afternoon healthy meal at school but not at home. So the theory above holds, at least it does in our case. What's it been like for you?
Friday, August 7, 2009
Disciplining our peeps
I grew up in a household where my dad used emotionally abusive language as a form of discipline. I couldn't wait to leave home, to feel safe. Today, as a parent, I discipline in a different way (jury still out as to whether our way is better though). We use time-out where we count out loud "time-out 1", "time-out 2" & "time-out 3". We use this when our boys are naughty but playful. When they get rude or abusive in another way we use "hiding 1", "hiding 2" & "hiding 3". After the 3rd count for time-out they get sent to a time-out corner for a few minutes to reflect on their actions. With hiding it's literally translates to a slap on the bum. Follow through is quite important or else they don't take you seriously. So be STRONG. It's equally important to take the time to explain to your child that what they've done was unacceptable.
What are your thoughts on good examples of discipline styles? What are your thoughts on good discipline?
Age appropriate?
Our 3.5 year old boy is into Bakugan, Ben 10 & Batman (flavour of the month). These TV programs are typically for older children, about 5 years and older. At first I thought this to be unsual and slightly concerning until I realized that most of the kids at his preprimary school are into similar stuff, i.e. into toys and super heroes meant for older kids. Not that this makes it OK but, as a parent, it's OK to me. It's amazing how younger kids tend to gravitate to older kids ito toys and play activities. Guess it's the cool factor.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Stargate SG Series
I currently follow both Stargate SG1 as well as Stargate Atlantis. It reminds me so much of the Star Trek series (Deep Space 9, Voyager, Enterprise, etc) I grew up with. Our imagination is fascinating and appears limitless. To mentally create such a wide variety of planetary systems, races and awesome technology is amazing!What's even more amazing is that Sci-fi technology often lead to real-world inventions. Check the following 2 websites for more details:
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Quotes on Health...
"Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing" - Red Foxx
Quotes on Change...
"One today is worth two tomorrows; what I am to be, I am now becoming" - Benjamin Franklin
"How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world" - Anne Frank
"It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change" - Charles Darwin
"It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows" - Epictetus
Quotes on Leadership...
"Trust men and they will be true to you; treat them greatly and they will show themselves great" - Ralph Waldo Emerson
"If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the shoulder of giants" - Isaac Newton
"Leaders aren't born they are made. And they are made just like anything else, through hard work. And that's the price we'll have to pay to achieve that goal, or any goal." - Vince Lombardi
"The price of greatness is responsibility" - Winston Churchill
Quotes on Parenting...
"I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it." - Harry S Truman
"If you must hold yourself up to your children as an object lesson, hold yourself up as a warning and not as an example." - George Bernard Shaw
Monday, August 3, 2009
The thumb-sucker
Check out the following wikipedia link for more info:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thumb_sucking
Life as a house
Imagine waking up one morning, getting up as you normally would, putting on your slippers and gown and heading towards the kitchen for a cup of coffee. Imagine leaving your room and entering your passage. Imagine if, for the first time, you notice the colour of the passage walls. For the first time you feel the texture of one of the passsage walls. Imagine realizing that you do not like the texture or wall colour. You then notice the colour and general pattern of the floor tiles and you realize that you do not like the pattern in the tiles. On your way to the kitchen you pass other rooms and have similar realizations. You then realize that you need to renovate and so your renovation project is born. At this point many contractors enter your life. Some are good at fixing tiles and others are good at painting and making new cupboards. Just imagine waking up to your life and realizing that the renovation project has already begun? What if everyone that you encounter is working on your renovation project? What house are you living in?
Letting go
Two monks were walking along a path. At some point the path they were travelling along crossed a swollen river. As they approached the river they noticed an old woman standing alonside the river. She seemed distressed. She approached them and asked if they could help her across the river since she could not swim. The older of the two monks picked up the woman and carried her across. He put her down on the other side, rejoined his travel companion and they were on their way. After about an hour the younger monk turned to the older monk and said "Why did you carry that woman when you know that we are not allowed to touch women?". The younger monk appeared annoyed. The older monk replied "I put her down at the river, why are you still carrying her?"
Peeking over the edge
Imagine standing at the entrance to a door. Imagine that it's your first time at this particular door. Imagine not knowing what to expect should you decide to pass through the door. In life we sometimes find ourselves at the edge of our existence, a boundary that separates the familiar from the unfamiliar, a place where a decision is needed, i.e. do I go through the door or not.
When I find myself in this place then I also find myself justifying why I should not go through the door, why I should turn around and walk the other way. The thing about being human is that we do not know what our future holds for us. We don't know whether we will get up for work tomorrow morning, we don't know what the traffic will be like on our way to work tomorrow morning and we don't know what people are thinking. There is a lot we don't know.
Not Knowing
Sometimes not knowing where I stand with respect to a particular situation can drive me insane. This is especially the case if I have done all that I can already. There is a part of me that replays aspects of the situation where I mentally and emotionally "improve" the quality of my input as part of the replay. I do this to make myself feel better about the experience. This is one of my many coping mechanisms. I am learning to be OK with not knowing. One of the challenges with not knowing is that of procrastinating important decisions due to a belief that knowing could change the decision that is made. Life becomes a balancing act where I juggle many balls hoping that 'knowing' will simplify my experience. A friend said to me over the past weekend that I should go ahead and make a decision based on the information that is currently available and then deal with the new information as and when it arrives as a result of knowing. Interesting advice. I do, however, choose and continue to choose my own path. While I understand that my friend means well I also understand that my path (and his as well as yours) is unique. This means that what makes sense to you may not make senses to me and vice versa. Are you aware of that which you do not know? How will knowing change your situation?
Systems Thinking?
Systems thinking is defined as "a way of thinking about, and a language for describing and understanding, the forces and interrelationships that shape the behaviours of systems. This discipline helps us to see how to change systems more effectively, and to act more in tune with the larger processes of the natural and economic world." (p6, The Fifth Discpline Field Book, 1994). Within this book (mentioned above), Systems Thinking is listed as one of five disciplines that is the core of learning organizations (Personal Mastery, Mental Models, Shared Vision, Team Learning and Systems Thinking).
Acceptance as a doorway?
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, a Swiss doctor, mentioned "Acceptance" as the final stage in the grief cycle (series of emotional states). Here grief is used in the context of "change" associated with experiencing negatives events (e.g. losing your job or not being able to find a job). It's amazing how much easier life becomes when you accept that the life you find yourself in is yours. You are responsible for it. No one else is. We are not tapping into our immense potential when we spend our days blaming others for our circumstances and for our general mood. By doing so we procrastinate, i.e. we stop ourselves from living the life we were given. Also, we prevent ourselves from using our current lives as platforms into a more desirable future.
Unconcious habits
The Oxford English dictionary defines the word habit as follows: - "a settled way of thinking"
- "something done frequently and almost without thinking"
- "something that is hard to give up"
The challenge with habits is that some habits serve us while others impede us. As children, we tend to inherit many of our habits from our primary care givers, siblings and mates. Other habits (especially "thinking" habits) are formed in response to the way we are treated as children and as adults.
A coach could help you become aware of the unconscious habits that impede you. However, becoming aware is only the beginning. The next step is to unlearn the problematic habits and replace them with those that are more in alignment with the lives that we are striving to live.
Is personal change possible?
Let me use alcoholism as an example... If you do not believe that you have a drinking problem then it will be near impossible to get well. If, however, you acknowledge that you have a problem then you might begin to entertain the possibility of a healthier reality. This same principle applies to other 'unhealthy' areas in your life.
Let me use another example... Imagine you walk into a car showroom and you have a look at a new, top of the range, car. You could tell yourself that you can't afford it because you do not have the money and you could be thinking that you'll never be able to afford it, and that's it, you go home. However, imagine if you asked yourself "I wonder how I could afford this?" Notice the difference in approach?
Imagine how such a change in approach towards your life's challenges could change your reality?
Pride and its consequences
Pride is a strange multi-dimensional 'thing'. My experience of pride is that it can and has stopped me from harnessing resources available to me, resources that could significantly improve my reality. What follows is one example where too much pride can be detrimental ...
As we pass through life we meet many people along the way. Each person that I interact with is left with an impression of me and vice versa. I will never really know how the person has experienced me. Some may have met me while I was wearing my party hat while others met me while I was wearing my IT hat. Some may have known me while I was jetting off to various parts of the globe, i.e. my jetsetter hat.
Today I decide I would like to make a career transition. So I start browsing the job ads. I meet with a few employment agencies and also speak with some friends and existing colleagues about my career aspirations, i.e. I network. However, there is a dormant part of my network that I do not access because my pride stops me. These are people from my past. People who may have known me while I was wearing a different career hat. People that could possibly assist me with realizing my career goals. But pride stops me. Pride tells me that I would embarras myself if I contacted Joe or Susan or John. Pride says to me that I will be humiliated. Pride disconnects me from parts of my network. Pride controls me. Pride tells me that my fragile reputation will be tarnished if I pick up the phone.
It's at times like this that it can be very useful to pocket my pride so that I can harness/harvest my latent resources. It may mean embarrasing myself. It may not. I won't know unless I give it a shot.
Can self-saboutage be a gift?
Defining Moments
Finding the magic
The spouse ...
The space within ...
It is on the hole in the centre that the use of the cart hinges.
We make a vessel from a lump of clay;
It is the empty space within the vessel that makes it useful.
We make doors and windows for a room.
But it is the empty spaces that make the room liveable.
Thus, while the tangible has advantages
It is the intangible that makes it useful.
Lao Tzu
Reflection
Imagine looking in the mirror at yourself. As human beings, we generally find it easy to notice our physical attributes when looking in the mirror. We may notice a new pimple, or that you may need a haircut or that you've got a great smile. In a similar manner it's possible to reflect on one's thoughts, actions and emotions. I'm sure that there are other forms of reflection as well but let's start with these 3 to get a sense of how the process of reflection can be a catalyst for realization which, in turn, has the potential (not a guarantee) of sparking tranformative practices that could lead to a greater sense of fullfilment, a feeling of being whole, being complete. Reflection involves the act of observation, similar to the noticing of a pimple in the mirror. The process of reflecting on your emotions, actions and thoughts may, at first, require some props to get the ball rolling. These props could take the form of journalling as well as developing a keen sense of awareness of what is. The thing with reflection is that it takes courage and stamina to witness more than just the obvious and then to act on it. Someone once said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and hoping for a different result.
Realization
Underworld, Rise of the Lycans
What a beautiful and tragic love story. Definitely provides more insight into the other 2 Underworld movies. I'd give it a 7/10. Special effects were great and very clever of them to use some of the characters the appear in the original and sequel, helps with character development. Not for younger viewers and definitely not for non-fantasy movie lovers. Quite dark but then again its expected given that it's about a love story between a lycan (werewolf) and a vampire, almost like a Romeo and Juliet.Check out the trailer on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rA35RJfkHjc
Sunday, August 2, 2009
H1N1 Symptoms
Nobody tells you that ...
- You tend to befriend your children's friends' parents. It started early when my eldest got home from pre-school oneday with a tiny request, i.e. daddy, can Mark come over to play, then it was Cammy, followed by Olivia, Tait, etc. More recently, its been Luke.
- You will still become annoyed with other people's children.
- You never regain the sleep you lost and continue to loose ;-)
- Younger children are SUPA destructive and that it may be best to temporarily place your more expensive items in storage.
- Children are expert manipulators who will test you on every corner
- Children a mirrors so watch what you say or do
Chronicles of Riddik for PS3
I recently purchased a new Sony Playstation PS3 game console after much research and pondering on my needs vs what's available in the market. I chose the PS3 because it gives me a gaming console, DVD player and Blu Ray player all in one device. This means less financial investment, more space on my TV stand and ONE remote for all 3 (the PS3 wireless game controller).I also bought my first PS3 game, i.e. Chronicles of Riddik. Games have really come a long way from the days of the original Atari and Commodore64 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Commodore_64) consoles, my first gaming console being the Commodore64 (thanks dad!). Riddik is amazing, it's like I'm a movie character where I have control over what happens next. Offcourse, the walkthoughs help ;-)
Growing up a Trekkie
Some've argued that the Star Trek TV series created a disillusioned generation because of the great disparity between what Star Trek "promised" about our future and what our scientists really accomplised. I disagree. Instead, my view is that Star Trek inspired and continues to inspire both young and old, specifically in terms of the possibilities for the future. Imagine a future in which interstellar travel is the norm, where teleporting to work is the norm, where food replicators are used in the home instead of stoves, fridges and microwaves. Just imagine ;-) And remember, it's only a movie.
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