Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Roots of Integrity, keeping my promises

Earlier this evening we informed our 4 year-old son that we were about to visit a friend for her fairwell, she will be relocating to #Johannesburg next Wed. My wife and I were planning to take our son to the cinema tomorrow for a movie, popcorn and a soda.We wanted to keep it a secret and thus surprise him tomorrow by fetching him early from school. He threw a tantrum when we informed him that we were about to go out for the evening and that his nanny would be taking care of him for the evening. In response to his tantrum my wife told him about our plans for tomorrow. I know my son, he'll keep us to it and will be SUPA grumpy until we deliver on our promise to him. If I was anything like him at his age then I understand my dad's actions as described in the next paragraph. I don't agree with it but I can certainly understand it.

The "I promise to make this right by doing something else in return" experience with our son reminded me of an experience that remains etched in my memory to this day. I can't recall how old I was but I do remember being old enough to open a car door on my own. I remember my dad saying to me that he was going to buy us a TV and that we were going to purchase the TV the next day. The next day arrived and I must've nagged so much that he eventually said to me to wait in the car because we were going as promised. I remember running to the car, getting in and waiting. He didn't come to the car that day. Eventually my mom fetched me. It's amazing how this single experience made integrity so important to me today. Tomorrow's my turn with my son,  deja vu :-)

Remember that children learn through our example (as adults and care givers). They learn very quickly. Each time I break a promise I teach my son that it's okay to break promises, to not keep your word, to lie.

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